A Tribute to National Poetry Month

An Innocent Question

“How are you?”

An innocent question,
Befitting a response
I read in a book today.

“Growing and learning.”

More accurate than,
“Great” (a lie) or,
“Okay” (credible, but lacking still),
And, “Hanging in there,”
Seemed a spineless platitude.

I wasn’t hanging
Anything presently,
Not even a slim thread.

“Growing larger?”

“No.”

Growing deeper,
Into an abyss.

“What are you learning?”

“Faith.”

Thoughts on Illegal Immigration

We are so quick to criticize those who come illegally into this country from Mexico and rightfully so because we are a nation of laws. When a United States citizen breaks a law, there is a fair and impartial (well, that could be argued!) assessment of the crime and a punishment or fine appropriately levied.

So we say to those here illegally - "get out and go to the back of the line and apply to come into this country legally." It may take months, could even take years but who cares. After all, we are a nation of law-abiding citizens who watch our schools and hospitals taxed under the burden of those who are willing to risk their lives to come here. Bottom line - the price of medical care keeps going up and teachers are in short supply so let's not waste the money or the talent on those here illegally.

We cite another reason for this outcry against the illegal invasion - border security - the need to keep the bad guys out. Let's see, if memory serves me, the last attack came by way of an AIRPLANE not by a Mexican swimming across the Rio Grande. However, since we are now a nation in the grips of terrorphobia (fear of terrorists), a quick solution must be found. Which is why I think we should appeal to the pharmaceutical companies to come up with a much less expensive fix for this new founded phobia. A pill that one can pop as long as you don't have high blood pressure, acid-reflux, erectile dysfunction (for you men), frequent urination, but may cause excruciating headaches and diarrhea. Oops, so sorry, I digress from the topic at hand.

If you are tempted to stop reading because you think I am a cynic - you are wrong. And before you think I am a bleeding heart liberal crazy- wrong again - I'm a registered Republican (okay, no jokes allowed on the "crazy" part!)

Seriously, here is what I am. I am in the picture holding the hand of a little girl taking me to her "house" in Reynosa, Mexico. Take a good look at the neighborhood - a good hard look. Reynosa is where those found in this country illegally are dumped literally regardless of where they actually may reside.

And here is my heart - why is it that we, who are so smart, so talented and rich in comparison, can't find an answer to this problem that is both legal and humane? Why is there so much rhetoric and so little action except to build an ugly, expensive fence reminiscent of the Berlin wall between us and Mexico?

This is an election year. Please pay careful attention to the candidates on this issue. There are lives at stake. By the way, these little ones live in an orphanage because their parents are too poor to care for them.

Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed, to me:
I lift my lamp beside the golden door.

Forever Friends

I was never meant to be your forever friend.

I was there for a season of time
when you needed the voice of experience.

I was there for reassurance
until you gained your confidence.

I was there to rely on
when you were feeling helpless and vulnerable.

But it was never meant to last a lifetime.

It was meant to last for a season

and then quietly fade away

until all that remains

is the whisper of a beautiful memory.

BP MS150 Thoughts

In my journal I recorded a quote by William Hutchinson Murray that says, "Concerning all acts of initiative or creation, there is one element of truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and plans; that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then God moves too."

My first MS 150 ride is a testament to the truth of Murray's statement. I made it by the grace of God.

On this ride, I fell in love all over again with the state of my birth. Texas is beautiful in her ruggedness. The strange spring weather caused the hills to be a vibrant green and covered with wildflowers. God's creation displayed its magnificence for the riders going past and it made me smile to see many taking time out to take pictures along the way. While we can anticipate our final destination, we must also take time to enjoy the journey.

We were met by fiddlers with tractors, stereos blasting "Twist and Shout" and assorted shapes and sizes of Texans all out to greet and cheer on the riders and those in wheelchairs reminded us why 12,000 people ride bicycles to Austin - because we can when they cannot.

Day 1 was a success. My daughter-mentor was waiting with a camera, a big smile and the car to drive us to our hotel room and a hot shower. But what about Day 2? At 3:30am on Sunday morning, I didn't think I could do it again. So I prayed.

My daughter told me that for the first 10 miles on Day 2, my brain would scream "what are you doing?" but to ignore it and the body would warm up and kick in. She was right. What she failed to tell me after dropping me off was that the first 10 miles involved a HILL!!! At the top of the hill, I thought " I am way over my target heart rate!!" But it was too late, the car was headed to Austin and riders were gaining. I felt the Lord say, "just ride the bike." I rode and He did too.

When I didn't think I could make another hill because they looked so huge in the distance, I was reminded of Goliath. "Just ride the bike." And the hills weren't nearly as large as they first appeared when I got closer. A few hills were too much for me to handle so I got off the bike and walked for a while admiring those who were still upright on their bikes making their way up.

From the last rest stop, I called my daughter and she was right, adrenalin kicked in as we closed the gap to the finish line. The hills no longer mattered. Turning a corner, I was greeted by cheering crowds and saw the sign that said, "Welcome to Austin." I could feel the tears welling up. We did it Lord!!! We did it!

When I sent out my email requesting donations, I said that the ride, while a physical challenge, was indicative of a bigger spiritual and mental challenge of perseverance and endurance. I quoted Hebrews 12: 1-2.

"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him, endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of God."

I had a great cloud of witnesses - my mom and dad, my grandmother and great-grandmother, my aunt. I had the support and prayers of family and friends. But most importantly, I had my God, the One who never left my side. The hills became small because He loomed so large over them. Jesus was my greatest cheerleader. My job was to "just ride the bike." He took care of everything else.

"But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles. They shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

Many Paths

I have heard it said many times - there are many paths to __________________(heaven, enlightenment, God, etc. - fill in the blank) and I have always wanted to ask who said that? Where did this thought originate? I didn't know until this morning.

I am struggling to stay on this path. In my quiet time this morning, God led me to the book of Ephesians 2:10. This verse states that we are His masterpiece and created to do the good things that He planned for us long ago. As I read that verse, it occurred to me that I am on my path, the one created just for me and should I depart from this path, I would miss out on God's plan for my life, the very reason for which I was created. And I wondered, could this be the thought behind the "many path theory"?

Should I choose to leave my personal path, God would not love me any less. But I did imagine a heavenly scene as I make my arrival into heaven. The scene opens with my arrival at the gate. I would whisper the secret code Name and the gate would open. (And while there may be many paths, the Bible states there is only one entrance Way.)

Jesus would take me by the hand and we would walk down Memory Lane together. On the side of the road I would see many items hidden under a blanket of dust. As we approached each item, He would gently lift the cover, wipe off the dust, and I would see all that could have been, the fullness of life God planned for me to live. A life greater than all of my dreams, desires, thoughts and prayers, left undiscovered by the side of the road. Then, He would replace the cover for there these dreams must lay, unused and left behind.

We all have a path to walk. And while I can share the blessing and treasures along the way with many, my path is only wide enough for two - God and I. This byway displays the occasional "orange-barrel" that I must navigate around and sometimes a sudden storm so severe the road disappears. But if I persevere, along the way are people to love, places to experience and treasures beyond even my imagination.

God allows us to choose our way. We can take the dimly lit, adventurous path or we can detour to the wide multi-laned, double-decker bypass built for those who either never found their personal road and or settled for the easier-to-follow marked highway. Either way, our final destination is the same.

But if I choose the bypass, I will leave the adventure package designed just for me. And I know that should I make that choice, when my time on earth is done, my heart will ache when I see the blessings and presents God had planned along the way - the ones that the dust will uncover. So, for today, I will choose to remain on my path. And when I struggle again, I will return to this verse and hold on tight.

I will take the hand of those who don't know the way, who can't see where they are going. I'll be a personal guide to them, directing them through unknown country. I'll be right there to show them what roads to take, make sure they don't fall into a ditch. These are the things I'll be doing for them - sticking with them not leaving them for a minute. (Isaiah 42:16)

The Power in a Telephone Call

What power the telephone holds! I am always amazed how a few short rings can alter one's day or night. Timing plays a major role in predictability. We know from experience that those incessant rings that rouse us from sleep in the wee hours of the morning rarely bear good news. Of course, there are some exceptions. For example, I called my parents in the wee hours of the morning to announce I was off to the hospital to deliver their first grandchild.

Calls coming mid-morning though- well, they are the unpredictable ones. These are the calls that catch us off guard and hold the power to redirect our day or, at the very least, evoke an emotional response.

My phone rang this morning. Caller ID brought the anticipation of a warm call from a beloved family member. And I was not disappointed, that is until the end of the call when I was informed, as a matter of fact, that Ken Lay had died this morning. After the initial shock, my first thought whispered the question, "Was it suicide?" No, it seems it was a matter of the heart.

And my own became very heavy as well. It is my prayer that the final chapter of a truly great man will bring healing to all seeking vengeance and closure to the rest of us who have learned our lessons well and are desperate to put Enron and its fall from grace in its final resting place. God bring Your comfort to his family and friends.

My Anniversary

Yesterday, I celebrated my five-year anniversary. He had waited years for me to get this far but would wait no longer. But this was not a decision to be taken lightly. He insisted, "You cannot wait any longer." But every argument I raised was met and dismissed - not a flippant dismissal like the ones we receive when someone is simply too tired to argue - no, my arguments simply became lame in the light of such intelligence.

"Okay, okay, I surrender. Now please stop talking in my head," I begged. He was appeased, silent at last.

Sunday came, April 22, 2001. As I showered and carefully planned my outfit, I was determined to make this commitment even if it killed me and, I mused, it very well might. Okay, that was an exaggeration but still something inside of me was reluctant. I had wrestled with this vague unsettled feeling all week long. "What is it?" I asked in frustration. It felt like one of those frustration dreams where you almost can see the thing you are chasing but you can never quite get there - so close but yet so elusive.

"Tell me please?" I asked. "I know it's not the pride thing. I got over that and I am willing to humiliate myself in front of several hundred people," I proudly exclaimed.

He wrapped me in love before answering and simply said, "Because you know what out-of-control looks like."

Memories flooded my entire being and I could no longer stand up under their weight. On the floor sobbing, tears poured out in rivers of painful memories. "Oh yes, I do know what out-of-control looks like and it is terrifying," the 14-year old in me cried.

Where had I stored all those tears from so long ago? They had been safely locked up in my heart rarely to be seen by others while I fought hard to carefully control my surroundings so I could never be hurt or disappointed again. But salt water rusts and, I must admit, my heart had become like the Tin Man rusted shut from lack of use.

He held the key to my broken heart in one hand and I had a choice to make. I could take the key back or, relinquishing control, grab His other hand - the one that was being held out - the one with the nail prints. You see, five years ago yesterday, responding to an altar call at my church, I walked down the aisle and gave control over my life to One I cannot see but One who loved me enough to break down the rusted door to my heart.

How I would love to tell you that it was an easy choice. But I would be lying. It was not easy then and it is not easy now, five years later.

However, what I can tell five years later is this: There has not been one day, not one moment, that I have regretted my decision. And why, you may wonder, was God so insistent that day five years ago? He alone knew how my year would unfold. It was a year like no other but that is another story.